Digital Marketing Haiku, Because Why Not?
I got way over-caffeinated today and started scribbling down haiku about digital marketing. Then I asked my team if they had ideas. The results were, um, fascinating. Here’s what happens when 30 marketers try to write poetry:

Employment

Poetry Degree Find a real job? No way. Start marketing gig You demand volume “Shower the web with content” Print your resume

Good Days

Gave a client great news Happiness abounds with them I now bask in joy Great data dashboards Bring salty tears to my eyes My heart’s cockles warm

Bad Days

You are a guru Fine. Provide good advice or I may throat punch you Your site is so slow Developer says too bad I scream angrily

UX

Tried to browse your site “Please enter your email first” You must be insane Restaurant website No map, no menu, no hours Photo of tables

Analytics

Data Studio Needs combined data sources To kill off Tableau

SEO

All the best content Isn’t worth a hill of beans If you noindex Your gray footer links Drive me up the wall because They don’t fool Google

Content

If you can write fast and without standards, don’t stop Til it’s an e-book I have one typo Smarty pants find it. Twitter corrections explode

Collections

Why you not pay me? Look at your site. It went poof. Now can you pay me? Wistfully we gaze Wondering why you decline To pay this invoice (wrote that in 2015)

Conclusion, and Futility

I just found out that marketing haiku are not new. My soul empties.

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